My boyfriend and have been dating for over 4 years now been engaged for over three. Everytime the wedding get close he backs out says he need more time. It hurts worse each time. this last time really sent me over the edge. he willing to let me walk away over it. should i give him more time or leave him?
MY boyfriend of over 4 years keeps changing his mind about marriage what should i do.?
Something as serious as marriage can be a big, scary deal. You maybe ready 100% but he may have doubts. Talk to him. Set a time frame for your relationship. Let him know that he has a decision to make and when that time is over and the decision is not made let him go. Your time is precious. Set guidelines and stick to them love involved or not.
MY boyfriend of over 4 years keeps changing his mind about marriage what should i do.?
what does your gut feeling tell you to do?
Go with that and not your heart.
I did and have been happily married for over 10 years.
And not to the one that I was waiting for to marry me.
Good luck.
If you want a relationship which includes marriage, then walk away.
You realise that you're allowing him to get what he wants without thinking of you - bad basis for any relationship.
100% - go and get on with your life - the hurt will subside.
As hard as it is, you should walk away and not just do that but think about you as a person and have self growth. You should think about your purpose in life. It is for sure not to go through life having your heart broken time and time again by the same person who does not know love. In time he will look back and see what he has done, but in the mean time move on before he takes away ypur total faith in love aand in people
Move on. You get one life. Don't waste it waiting around for the wrong man to finally marry you so you can only get divorced a few years later. You know he isn't into marrying you. Why would you want that for your life?
You have been giving him more than enough time and understanding I admire you for that . I would talk to him and lay down the law and say you have very loving and supportive and you have had a enough and deserve better treatment and I would leave and if its your house tell him to leave I would have distant between the two of you first and in that time if he dosent realize that there is none one quiet like you that he really does love and that you have put up with more than enough from you and truly wants to marry you . I would cut you loses and although it will hurt at first in time you will realize you are better off. I wish you a very happy future who ever that is with.
Walk, if he really truly wanted to be with you forever he would have done it by now. what is there to really think about
You've already given him four years.... been there myself, and it was hard to leave, but you can't spend your life waiting for him to be ready.
I really think that deep inside you know the answer. Its a question of what YOU want. Are you happy to go on being engaged? The thing is pressure is the wrong way to go, it would always be a point of contention. If you can live happily the way you are until he says to you that he wants to put a wedding day to it then all well and good, but if this is not the case I would seriously think about your reasons for being engaged %26amp; his. If he doesn't want to marry you then why get engaged?
I am pretty sure you will come to the right decision for you.
Good Luck
Don't have sex with him, if he is the right man for you this will not matter to him. Marriage preparation classes are also helpful. My guess is he is not ready and should not be pushed. In the mean time keep your legs closed and work on your friendship with him BELIVE me the man who truly loves you will knock your socks off without sex.
Well, i think that he may be afraid of committment.
Firstly, you have to ask yourself whether you think marriage is what you REALLY want, and if you are willing to sacrifice getting married to be with him.
On the otherhand if he is that against getting married, you have to ask yourself why, are there any underlying issues that stop him from marrying?? Has he been married before? If he is willing to lose you over it, then is it worth it? He cant love you that much.
I think you need to sit down and talk to him.
even though you have been going out with your boyfriend for 4 years (and being engaged for 3) do you still love him? if you do i think you should ask him why he is like this before you make the decision of walking away...i know even though i have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 1 year my boyfriend had proposed to me on my brothers 19th birthday and that was only 3-4 months since we started going out and just a couple of weeks ago we had this argument and i started to get nervous about the wedding and that day and a few others i said to my boyfriend 'i am not sure bout this any more' but now we are OK about the day now
you have given him enough years and he is not making any positive move about settling down with you the best thing is to tell him to his face that you can be wasting your time with him any more, you have your life to live, years are gone and time waits for nobody. another thing he might not be your real life partner so move on so that you wont miss the right man. and if he really loves you he wont let you go. but do the right thing.
sounds to me that he is scared not of marrying you but of the day its self
IF he's gotten close and then walked away from marrying you at all then that means: he's not ready, he wants to get married, but not to you. or he's just not the marrying type period.
I would personally let him go. Yes he's a wonderful man in your eyes, but he may not be %26quot;the one%26quot; for you.
Good luck. :)
leave him. its really unfair what he's doing to you
if he wants to marry you he will.
you deserve to be with someone who is sure about you
Time's up. Sorry, but he can't just drag you along like this. If he is not ready now, he will never be ready. What is he waiting for anyways? A better woman to come along? If that is the case, than obviously he doesn't think you are good enough.
Sorry you are going through this...
I think you know the answer in your heart - this is just not right. Usually a couple is engaged only long enough to plan the wedding - after dating a few years seriously - I think it's just silly to be engaged for three years.
You may love him, and he may love you, but if he doesn't want marriage and you do - then you two are not a match...
You've given him plenty of time.
Why did he ask you to marry him if he wasn't ready to commit? Ask yourself (then him!) that question. Seriously, as much as it hurts, I'd think about walking. The third time is ridiculous and it sounds like he's just stringing you along. Good luck.
He has cold feet and may not be ready. If I read the above correctly, you were only together 1 year before he popped the Q. Don't leave him. 4 years is a long time to be with the same person. You don't want to regret it later. Wait until you're BOTH ready. This is a huge step. :)
That is so terrible. I would get out now. It just sounds like he has serious doubts and you deserve to be with someone who loves you 100% and is willing to commit to you. You deserve better!
well, we can only tell you what we have done or would hypothetically do. i myself would be hurt, once or twice is understandable as it is a big thing. but 4 times, i don't know. my fiance %26amp; i had a talk after 3 years of being together to feel out how we both feel about marriage and when the time would be right. well we both decided and 7 years later, finally got engaged. because we both stuck to what we said (%26amp; without any hesitation) i feel extremely comfortable that we made the right decision. i feel like we've been married for years anyway. %26amp; i was the one to ask him to marry me.
in your situation, i think he needs to be honest with you. don't try to pressure him into yay or nay, but he needs to tell you exactly what he's feeling and why the delays. and he needs to do it, until you understand why.
i know you dont want to hear this but i honestly would just leave because he is wasting your time and that is not what you need. He is going to keep doing the same thing over and over. he sounds like he isnt ready for commitment
