This is personal I went thur this a year ago want to get some feedback? The judge told me the birth parent has the right to change there mind even though she had not been in the child%26#039;s life.|||those safeguards are in place for many reasons.it%26#039;s part of the risk you have to accept if you are going to try to adopt.heartbreak is a part of parenting it%26#039;s a tough thing but if a person can%26#039;t accept that they shouldn%26#039;t be trying to adopt.i%26#039;m sorry for what has happened but again you knew there was a chance this could happen.might i suggest if you want to adopt doing it through the child protective services.they don%26#039;t get the year through this way.once their rights are severed there is no going back|||well, i would have to think that you were more looking after this child than it being a foster child or you having legal custody. you don%26#039;t say. the parents can%26#039;t otherwise just say they want their kid back and bam, it%26#039;s done. they need to have done parenting classes, etc. i%26#039;m saying this being a ex foster parent. i did it in 4 different states for about 15 years. the parents rights would have been terminated sooner than that for the sake of the child. sounds like something wasn%26#039;t done right. sorry, been there|||GOOD! Even if they don%26#039;t live with them, children need to be able to grow up seeing others who look and think and act and speak the way that they do, otherwise they are left microscopically examining the world, struggling to work out where all the pieces of their jigsaw fit into it.|||Hmmm this is not typical most places do not allow biological parents to reclaim a year or so after the adoption has been finalized. The longest period is generally 6months and there are some states that don鈥檛 have a reclaim period at all. It seems you were unfortunate to be in a state that does have up to a year reclaim. It sucks and I am sorry for the loss of your child.|||In the early days of adoption, parents had a long time to reclaim children. In those days (1930s, 1940s...for example) people were not so fond of taking children from biological parents.
A year is not very long in comparison to a life-time.
Adoption is a very serious decision and should not be made hastily. Separation of families is not a simple matter. It affects people for generations to come, and can hurt children...as well as their parents.
ETa: I also don%26#039;t believe in pre-birth matching. It is potentially coercive. Temporary agency cradle care used to exist which gave mothers the chance to get their lives in order. If the agencies were ethical, this worked for some people and it didn%26#039;t use hopeful adoptive parents as baby sitters(which I think is wrong).|||Well, I think we need a bit more information here. An adoption can be overturned, even a year after the fact, if there was some wrongdoing during the adoption process. A more common example is that if the biological father doesn%26#039;t realize he has a child, he may contest the adopton because he didn%26#039;t give consent to have the child adopted.
However, I have never heard of the voluntary relinquishment %26quot;waiting period%26quot; being exended for an entire year. In the US, at least, there is a waiting period where the biological parents can change their minds for any reason. Depending on the state, it can be anywhere from 24 hours to 6 months.
I do think that if safety is not a concern, it is a good idea for the biological parents to be involved in the child%26#039;s life. But this question appears to be indicating that an adoption is overturned a year after the fact, due to the biological parents %26quot;changing their minds.%26quot;
It seems to be an opinion held by some that adoptive parents are just glorified babysitters. Adoptive parents apparently are supposed to love and nurture an adoptee, but if the biological parents suddenly decide to terminate the adoption, the APs are supposed to surrender the child and not have any hurt feelings about it.
PAPs that have physical custody of a child during the %26quot;legal risk%26quot; period are not suppsed to think of the child as part of their family, knowing that the adoption isn%26#039;t finalized. I can see that for a few weeks, but for an entire year?!
Adoption is supposed to be permanent and adoptive parents are not glorified babysitters.
ETA: OKay, Linny, what if *gasp* the biological father DID consent to the adoption and there WAS no coersion involved? (Which remains, IMO, the majority of adoptions) At what point do adoptive parents get to start thinking of the child as a permanent member of the family and how bad is it for the CHILD if the adoptive parents keep an emotional separation because the bio parents have a whole year to figure out whether of not they want to be parents?|||If the judge said the mother has the right to change her mind then obviously her parental rights hadn%26#039;t been terminated yet, so legally the process to adopt couldn%26#039;t even begin to start to take place.
Not only does this sound like a case of jumping the gun, it sounds like a foster care situation, because outside of foster care not one state permits a year revocation period for mother%26#039;s to change their mind.
There is no argument that justifies pre-birth matching or wanting babies who are not already available for adoption.|||I think MOST adoptions could be overturned after a year. Why? Because MOST adoptions aren%26#039;t even legal, due to agencies and attorneys advising the first Mother to lie and NOT include the child%26#039;s first father.
I see so many people say, %26quot;It would not be fair to the ADOPTIVE parents. %26quot;Really???? Then they should have done their homework in the beginning and made sure there was no coercion involved.
No one ever feels sorry for the one person that matters- THE CHILD. No one has the right to lie and keep a child from his or her natural parents. No one.|||I think that this is wrong. The child has settled into a life and routine, formed a bond with adoptive parents, and imagine the poor adoptive parents! You don%26#039;t adopt a baby only to have him/her taken away after a year.. It%26#039;s somewhat sick i believe..|||You must have misunderstood. Your right to change your mind was over Before the adoptive parent started her process to adopt the child. You are about a yr and a half to late.|||I think that is absolutely ridiculous. An inconvenienced parent can give up their child and then when there good and ready come back to claim them. That%26#039;s absolute crab and they wonder why so many parents have difficulty with the idea of adopting. That%26#039;s like saying take my fertilized egg out keep it growing over there I%26#039;ll be back for it when I%26#039;m good and ready. You don%26#039;t get to decide when to be a parent. You either rise to the challenge when it%26#039;s presented or you move on. How unfair to that precious little baby who%26#039;s now ripped away from the only mommy they%26#039;ve ever known. And people wonder why society is so screwed up.
